Yo Yo

The Guiness World Book of records was one of my favorite books as a kid. I dreamed of eating more eggs, hot dogs or tacos than anyone had ever digested. Maybe I would have a huge growth spurt and grow to be 9' tall, instead of my current 6'2". I wondered if I could live in a buried casket for a few months or break the record for hiccups. I could run pretty fast, maybe I could be the worlds fastest human someday. None of these records are likely at this point.

Friday, I got an email from my friend Rusty telling me that if I go with him to the History Center that I can get a free yo yo. Not only would I get a free yo yo, but I would also have a chance to be one of the participants in an attempt to break a world record, a Guiness World Book of records sanctioned record. The record is, and I admit this sounds a bit dodgy, the most yo yoers in one setting. I guess there are all kinds of verifications that have to be made. I went Saturday and yo yoed with some friends and a bunch of strangers. The girl at the registration desk said we will email you soon to let you know whether you were part of a record.

I guess it's like falling in love. If you really look for it, it won't happen, but it may sneak up on you. I've always been sure that I would be part of a world record, even if I had to invent a category, but I was waiting for an idea to hit me.

A couple of years back my friend and former campaign manager Dave Plotkin tried to break the world record for staying on the radio. I can't remember the exact facts, but I think the old record was around 100 hours. I think he got 110, thinking he broke the record. We found out later that a record in Australia was pending and it was around 120 hours. Dave didn't get the record. The reality hit me about the insanity of these records. Dave became a little delirious after a few days of hosting the radio show. The nurse said that his tongue was starting to swell.

Maybe you are wondering about the comment that Dave was my campaign manager, maybe you're not. Anyway, I will tell you. In 2004 I ran for mayor of Orlando as a write in candidate. My slogan was I don't want to talk about it (sound sort of familiar?). I walked around town looking like my slightly disheveled self, avoiding people. When someone would ask me about my views, I may say, I'm busy. I could have been walking down the street alone, looking at the ground. I spoke at a few places and always had a very attractive woman interpreting what I said into Spanish. My Spanish isn't so great, but I heard one woman say Pat likes beer and women. Yeh, well.

I didn't get any votes, because there wasn't a write-in candidate spot on the Orlando ballot. I think there is one now. Maybe I changed things. One woman asked me my views on gay marriage. I told her, "When I'm mayor I'm going to ban all marriage."